R Kelly - Real Talk Behind the Scenes

HOLY SHIT! Came across this from Joe Rogan and God DAMN this is some crazy shit. You gotta let it play the whole way. It's just way too funny that this is what he's really doin. How are comedians going to tease crazy celebs when they do things like this? REAL TALK!

THIS JUST IN!

After countless reports and studies, top scientists have concluded that your taste in music has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. FINALLY BIEBER! Finally I can listen to Baby by Justin Bieber on repeat. Now I can pump it out my truck when driving through the redneck oasis I love. It works both ways too. Now gays can bust their AC/DC as loud as they want without fear of someone asking them if they want to go hunting. This is a giant step in making it a little easier to be around each other. So I implore you all to get your all american rejects and snow patrol and boast your freedom.

I have some disheartening news. Although I can listen to Bieber without fear of being gay, apparently it's still creepy for someone as old as I am without a 12 year old daughter to know who that is. One day Bieber. When will the world understand?

These friggin people that I know...

They crazy. Fun though. I thought I had more to say.

Things that bring me back to WWII

No shit just had a sanka. I'm in mountain view hospital and no shit just had a sanka. What is a sanka? Well as far as I remember they were one of the instant coffee pioneers and put little packets in the military's goodies bag. You don't like the torture that goes on in guantanamo bay? Try this shit. Instant torture. Yet with every sip I feel closer to a time forgotten. Where the mens were mens and the womens were womens. Where some snot nose pussy didn't blog about how awful his coffee was.

I don't think Hitler smoked weed.

Hey I could be completely wrong but I don't see any evidence of this. Although maybe he burned the edges of his mustache off with a joint. But he had a lot of rules man. Like how come you gotta have so many rules? However, his rules seemed like rules someone really high would come up with. So there you have it. I just proved Hitler was a stoner. Now I get this holiday. Happy High Hitler Holiday everyone!

All aboard the Pineapple Express

I know what you're thinking, "Pineapple Express? He just barely saw that? And he's making a blog about it? Old news. What a jerk." Well you might be right. But I had to write something about it.

What I can't figure out is that I'm 90% sure that I made this movie. I don't remember making it but Bel Biv Devoe is in it. That's what convinced me that I made the movie. I don't understand why I didn't put Paul Rudd in there somewhere. That's a huge mistake on my part but maybe it would have been too glorious. Minds would have exploded. It would have been the perfect comedy storm.

New Avenues

I'm sure I'll post more things on this until I reach what I call Facebook supernova. It gets to a point where the only way for you to grow is to implode. With Facebook this happens rather quickly as High School seems to catch up with you.

Take Jesus and JD for example. Neither one of them have thriving Facebook or Myspace accounts yet their legend lives on. Why is this? My theory is that they have achieved such a high level of popularity in regular life that fake internet fame is like going from eating fresh lobster with filet mignon to eating dog shit. Now it is very possible to live off dog shit but still it's never as satisfying.

I think Twitter realized this and said hey instead of eating regular dog shit, why don't you eat celebrity dog shit? I mean you're eating dog shit either way right? Might as well be from someone who has a taste of the golden life. Maybe Fred Durst will even respond to you (it happened).

Now you may be thinking hey what is the point of this? See that's good. What IS the point of my rambling? I threw JD in there just so you would read it. I threw Jesus in there because I'm afraid he'll torture me. Nothin but love J-Dizzle. Anyway, I think we should be asking ourselves what is the point of this more often. I have no point. I made a blog so I could comment on my friends posts. You read it because it was there to read.

Expect more pointless ramblings and nonsense to follow. Keep on truckin.

Love,

E